~LiFe’S bReAtH~

It happened so suddenly. That unexpected pleasure of surprise. I had never imagined i would meet him there and then, God! Of all places! There were smiles all around, the familliar pat on my head…

He was special. WAS. Thats past tense. Yet, i have to admit, seeing him was a pleasurable surprise.

It wasn’ t really that long ago. Funny how it feels like a decade and that when i come to think of it, i’d forgotten what he really looked like. We were different then though. We were younger. Silly. Every started so easily. It was crash bang boom and we decided that we were ‘in love’. Posh. It was sweet if not ridiculous. We had never known each other more than 3 days. But like i said, we were extraordinarily YOUNG and at time, we both had romantical/whimsical/idealistic ideas of our own about love. We shared dreams, innocent promises. ‘I’ll always love u,’ we would say. Posh. We were so sure everything would last. FOREVER. Yep, thats what we thought, hoped and strongly believed.

But then, I hadn’t really realised when everything began to crumble. In fact, there are times when i wonder whether there was really anything there in the first place. Selfishness drove in, along with suspicion and jealousy. It ruined us. Or rather, it ruined my ideals of what love should be like. Being in love means to stare lovey-dovey eyed at each other, enjoying the stillness of each moment. Being in love means you get a happy rush of endorphins when the other person calls your name. Being in love means he’ll want to be with u at all costs, at all times. Being in love means holding hands and going for walks in the evenings. Being in love means you’re mine and as such u can’t do this that etc etc etc… Being in love is oh-so-deliciously-romantic!! Sigh. Like i said, posh.

Well, we kissed it all goodbye.

Au revoir…

Whats left a few years plus several other incidents later, now, is me and my ridiculous ideals of love, which to be honest hasn’t really changed. What has changed is i’ve added something else. Being in love means to give. It also means u won’t be happy all the time. And the happy endorphins will eventually fade off leaving u dull and boring, depending on what u make of it. How much u give, how much u truly truly love. Other than that, love…*smiles* is still dinner by candle light, love letters, flowers and chocolates. Love is walking bare-footed on a beach hand-in-hand. Love is speaking words that touch the heart. To love is to trust. To love is to hold on. To love is to let go. To love is to give, expecting nothing in return. To love is to do your best to see him smile. To love is to forgive. To love is to understand and wait.

To love, is difficult.

Annd with this imperfect love of mine, i love u.

Held it close, so precious. So much it meant to me. How i looked forward to it. How the very thought of it made my heart race, the air sweeter to breathe in. And u stepped in. Took it from me. Threw it on the ground. Smashed it in my face. U who once said u loved me. How bitter ur words now. They cut me, hurting me in such a way i wont ever heal. I wished you’d tell me again, those words. Three simple words that could have changed my view of everything. Why cant u see for once i longed for u?? To have u hold me in ur embrace as i was a child. To pick me up and bathe my hurts in your love… But its over now.

Someone hurt me badly… And i guess i’m feeling really down. I was supposed to go out with sarah yesterday. Havent seen her since christmas. Going out with her was the highlight of my whole holiday!! Everything was planned perfectly and suddenly it came crashing down. I got shouted at for no reason, didn’t get to go. And i think sarah’s mad at me for suddenly not being able to go. I hate this… Why did everthing screw up so bad?? I feel really hurt and disappointed. Just needed to get it out.

Nite.

Spiky brown hair, puppy dog eyes, athletic, smart, funny and oh-so-talented with music. We hung out plenty and burned up the telephone lines with calls.His name was Matt and for one entire semester, i was crazy about him… It all began one day when i dropped my books on the stairs and this absolutely adorable guy helped me pick them up and offered to carry them to class for me. He was sweet n cool n popular n cute n….

HAH!!! Tell me that got your attention!! Bet it did! Sampat u… So busybody for what?…muahaha… Can’t believe u fell for that. MATT. (Laugh long and and loud…) Seriously, no. I never did fall for anyone called Matt. Keke…i-dot! =p A matthew sat next to me in form 2 but he was way off. Hahaha….cant believe u fell for that…

Speaking of which, Readers’ Digest says that guy’ names beginning with front vowels such as ‘a’ in mAtt makes the person sound more attractive. This explains why Matt is hot, while Paul is not. For girls, its the other way round. HOWEVER, guys with girls’ names were ranked terribly low tho they did look good. Dont blame them. Can u imagine a Tom Cruise lookalike with the name Georgine or something? Major yuck…

Anyway, haha…. adios to all the matts i know.

Te amore!

You know, i really wish i had something intelligent and philosophical to say here, but heck. I don’t. Anyway I’m just writing coz i’m lonely and it clears my head so fire away!

Hmm… What would be a good thing to write… Oh yeah, WHY its cool to be a gal!! See, the girl couples in my school really freak me out so i wonder a lot why some decide to be… well, a lil less feminine than normal. So here’s why being a girl rocks!!

ONE, we can cross our legs easily. =p….ok ok… Thats not a really good reason but hey, its a GOOD thing. Hahaha…. Ahem. However if you cross your legs for too long, it’ll cause deep vein thrombosis. (I’m trying to sound smart here, but i’m probably boring you. N i hv no idea wat deep vein thrombosis is but it sounds SERIOUS!!!)

TWO, we look good in pants, but do guys look good in skirts? Gross…

Three, (u know, years ago, i’d hv said tat the guy would hv to bring home the bacon but tats not true anymore. Darn.) being girls gives us the right to be pampered. Getting lots and loads of attention and gifts!!! ….but erm, ok, thats not really happening. BLeh.

Four, my brains not working anymore. N if u noticed from the begining, it never was working in the first place. So…

Au revoir freaky darlings.

Muackzes on the house.