~LiFe’S bReAtH~

Phew. The past few days have been pretty eventful. Its like living in a korean love drama series. =p Lots of boohoos and brouhahas.

"I love u always. Forever."

Thats a scary phrase isan’t it? I’ve never dared to use it. Why? Because its not merely a STATEMENT. Its also a PROMISE.

***sigh*** Relationships.

Still…I believe that God has a purpose for everything. He doesn’t like seeing us hurt. But he allows things to happen for a reason. He allows obstacles in our life so that we KNOW that He is God. So that we draw closer to Him and learn to trust Him.

God WANTS to answer our prayers. But He’ll do it in His own timing. Which is always the best. And if He DOESN’t give u what u prayed for, u can be assured that He’ll give u something even BETTER.

Thats just how much He loves us.

Life has been looking up….or not down at the very least. Sideways maybe. =p I am starting to get the ryhthm of ‘living life with my own heartbeat’. Grinding the cogs that make the big clock tick myself. It IS very…enlightening to look around n see the bigger picture of life.

I am so general u must be bored out of your skull. Haha…

Well, i’m still unsure as to what course i should pursue after spm. If looking at job openings in the future, nursing and dentistry is EXTREMELY promising. Talents-wise, mass com (journalism maybe?)is best… But it doesn’t really appeal to me. Something abt working under stress and irregular working hours. Deadlines deadlines deadlines….Bleugh. What looks interesting is psychology actually. But i’m not so sure abt job prospects in the future and how it’ll work for me. SIGH……..

Decisions decisions.

I need HEEEELLPP…..!

Comments on my blog have been diminishing like the hairs on Cik Lee’s head. (So MEAN!! Hahaha….) Its kinda discouraging. Cos lots of super boring blogs have more comments than mine…is mine really that BAD? Gosh. (T.T)

HMPH.

Nevermind.

=p

Its the 20th day in the month of July. Ooi-Vay… Haha. I salute myself for making it so far. =)

Basically, this month has been umm, generally how life usually is…like a roller coaster ride. Up and down, though the DOWNs are usually a LOT more awful than the built up tension of the UPs. What talking me…haha.

Mmm, for people who read my blog pretty frequently (and actually enjoy it…) Give urself a pat on the back cos I cant imagine how anyone can LIKE ploughing through my muck of unstringed sentences. =) 

This month has been…DIFFERENT. Well…i have lost my anchor, my sounding-board, my place of reassurance and maybe my sanity. =p Just kidding. No, actually i made a really big decision begining this month which will force me to rely entirely on God or so help me drive myself mad. This decision was difficult…but i just have to pull thru cos there’s no turning back now. And I have to make it cos I’ve built all my hopes n dreams upon it. Blaahh……..

Going NUTS.

(Blogs are harder to write than diaries cos there’s a certain extent to how much u can reveal abt urself…)

Past 2 weeks were drenched with downpour, muscle aches and little smiles. Btw, u won’t believe how much i got for my physics during the monthly test. I got 10 marks over….100. Lol. Not proud of it la obviously. Will try…will try.

Studying is incredibly difficult at this point for me seeing as i have umm, absolutely NO MOTIVATION whatsoever to do it. I don’t even see the purpose of studying. Thats Very Very Very Joann…tsk tsk tsk. Aiyo… Don’t know how.

Love to write more but i need to go.

Has my writing style changed? Feels a lil different from the previous posts. Hmm.

K, take care ppl.

This is the right decision? Wrong? If right, why am i here, like this? Why do tears fall? Why does the soul weep? The heart desire?

What can i say, when you’re not there? When circumstances permit not? Where are u? What do u feel? Where am i? In your heart, still? For how long?

Don’t push me away. Let me come. Come to me. Talk to me. Help me understand. Don’t speak. Show me. Let me see it in your eyes, in your faith, your faithfulness, your gentleness, your patience, your love. When you say it will work, i will believe. I trust you.

Give me no reason to doubt. Give me no allowance for fear. Though we stand apart, i will be beside you if u will it. I will be there if you need me.

God, i have all but You now. My spirit falls broken. I lie helpless at Your feet. I am Yours to mould as You please. Give me purpose. Reveal Yourself to me. Let me know You. See the pain i face, it is nothing compared to the pains Your Son went thru, but yet it hurts me. Help me, for i cannot pick myself up. I rely only on You. My lips tremble in the night, but You shall give me rest. Loneliness claws at me but You shall comfort me. You love me. You WILL give only the best for me… Lord, preserve what my heart loves. What i love deeply, if it pleases You, bless this step I have taken for You. It is so difficult, teach me to understand. Let me learn, for what better teacher is there than You? Take me Lord. Take me.