~LiFe’S bReAtH~

I think i can

I think i’m strong.

I smile and say "U can. U know u can."

But as i step out, i realise i’m still waiting for the echo of your voice to tell me, "I believe in u. U can do this."

It doesn’t come.

And thats when i see,

I CAN’T.

I think sunshine looks beautiful.

I think it’s bright enough to warm my heart

But without you to say "Good morning",

I might as well stay in bed n watch the rain fall against my window.

I just CAN’T.

Sometimes I think,

I am special, i am different because I am all i can be.

I am beautiful and i am loved.

But when ur gone

I have look at myself through mirrors instead of the image captured within ur irises.

And i am ordinary. The reflection cries:

I CAN’T.

Lo all… Today was really quite disappointing. I had such high hopes for add maths cos my tuition teacher, Mr A has been working really hard on me n i dont wanna let him down… But the paper today really blew me silent. The frustration that built up inside me was so great…. I was on the verge of tears when the examiner collected the paper. All the way, i was completely sullen.

I really thought i could do better than last time…

Now i’m not sure anymore. =(

*sigh* ANyway, here’s something for u uys to laugh abt (im not in a laughing mood myself..) Last night, papa was blowing my school shoes dry with a hairdryer cos it was still really wet. So i told him NO NEED cos i just need to put it in front of the fan while i sleep n it’ll be dry in the morning, ready for school. So he said ok la then.

THEN…..this morning i woke up, i SUDDENLY remembered i FORGOT to put the shoes in front of the fan. In other word, i had wet shoes. Snap. So what did the incedibly clever/naughty me do? I wrapped a bandage around my toe n wore slippers to school under the pretence that i had hurt my foot. There. Brilliant am i not…?

Okaay. My Last Chaos launcher is ready. No mood also now. =(

Ta…

Attention…!!!

Khidmat Negara! NS!! The dreaded words to many, yet the longing of some so-called crazy ones. And u may not believe this but….

***whoa, rewind…*** =)

As we all know, the list for the 2008 first batch has been long awaited, long dreaded. And FINALLY! Its here! Its out!! The list of DOOOOM….

News were flying everywhere the moment i reached school this morning. The sad shaking of heads for those chosen, the grateful/disappointed looks of those not picked, the frightened/expectant looks of us who did not know. Everyone couldn’t wait to get home to check. This was BIG stuff!!

When i got home, i couldn’t get onto the khidmat negara website (probably cos a lot of ppl r trying to check). Then i received a sms from sarah telling me how to check with sms. Send "NS (space) (IC no.)" to 33995. The tension rose steadily as i sent the msg..

And the result…?

I’m not quite sure to my relief or disappointment, I was NOT chosen. Aww…. Hahaha. If you actually thought i was dead set on not wanting to get chosen, you’re wrong. Half of me wants to go, half wants to stay home and shleeeep. Hahaha….didn’t expect that leh…

I guess i’m kinda tired of how things are now lo. So going to NS might clear the brain a bit, give a fresh look of things, different environment, new challenges to face. Hoo, sound so enthusiastic only… Dunno REAL not. Hahaha… Nah la, its a good way to get away from things here lo.

It okaaay… Level one clear. Three more to go. Fuh, scareee… =) You know how it is one la. The irony of life. If u want something, u wont get it. U dont want it with u guts n it’ll definitely happen. So me being neutral about it makes things more….STABLE.

K la. I got VOH article to do. =p Past deadline already. Oops…

Bye! 

The days have been good to me. TodAy anyway. =)

Sat for BM paper today. It was good. Quite alright reallyy. I hope i get an A. Tomorrow is English. SLEEP….zzz…. Hehe, so snobbish.

Then i managed to catch Felix on the LRT as well so he sent me home. (He can drive already which i think btw is so cool. Not tat i’m enthusiastic to learn myself…=p)

Then this sunday i’m supposed to go for this spm seminar organised by Ti-Ratana at KDU college. I was kinda excited abt it cos can go with friends ma and i’ll get to meet up with Darren as well cos he’s studying there. But then Felix said Ti-Ratana is actually like a buddhist organization thing so i’m kinda not sure whether to go.

So how? To go or not to go?

The seminar is actually free, but i had to pay 5 bucks for the bus there. And if i go i have to miss church. But then if i dont go i’ll feel kinda left out cos i was already planning to go wor…not to mention if i tell my friends i’m not going they’ll be like "LazY la you…." Boohoohoo….

HOW???!

I mean, they probably won’t be teaching buddhist stuff or anything like that…just tat the FACT that its organised by a buddhist organisation. Should i be worried? Yeah. Should i be wary? Yeah. Should i go? …….

I dont know lar..SO LOST.

Am i overeacting to this or i should i not be even considering this at all??

I suppose the SAFER choce would be not to go. Hey, its definately not the CLEVER choice… Its the WISER choice. But will i take it?

**sigh**

=p I did it again. I can’t believe me. HONESTLY.

Hahaha… SPM trials begin this week so I was totally nervous yesterday (sunday). My first paper was BM which i’m pretty alright with la. So today morn, i woke up with my heart ready to mould those karangan pieces, batter that summary and chop up tatabahasa. I packed my pencil box and some A4 paper into my little bag and set off to the great beyond!!

Once at school, i pointedly asked my friend if we would be using the hall for the exam as usual. She looked at me like a monkey had just recited the entire declaration of independance. She surveyed my entire get-up from head to toe, staring extra hard at my little bag….before erupting into laughter.

"JOANN!!! Oh my goodness! The exam begins on Wednesday la!"

*SIGH*

Why me… (-.-""")

So thats about the day i brought only a pencil box and blank paper to class.

Amazing aren’t i?…

=)