~LiFe’S bReAtH~

The choices i make now,

Are defined by my past.

And what i make of the now,

Will someday become my future.

Memories are never useless.

They remind us of the roads we have taken,

The times we fell,

The times we soared.

Failures are great teachers;

They hurt, but serve as a necessity so that mistakes are not repeated.

They bring us down so that we might see loving hands carry us up.

They create emptiness that we might appreciate joy.

They break us so that we can be molded for the better.

Paintings cannot be erased,

Neither does the canvas say to the Artist:

"Your colours are wrong. Paint me another way…"

The Master Creator’s strokes are perfect, deliberate and defined.

In time, the painting becomes a myriad of colours,

Brilliant. Intense. Beautiful. Breath-taking.

And isn’t that worth it all?

_________________________________________________________________________

This isn’t a fantastic poem, i know. But its kind of a response to Wei Yee’s cos i dont really agree with hers… Check ours out and comment please.

~Tq~

I found my thumbdrive and keys!! They’re back!!!!

Wakakakakaka…..

*continues shrieking like a banshee*

=)))))))) Ecstatically happy d! Thank you Lord!!

Lord please, why are You allowing things to fall so hard on me?? The past few days were GREAT. I never felt happier in this six months. With the new job, jinjang outreach, practices, time spent with church friends…it was fantastic and suddenly problems seem to come crashing down on me! Lord…where are my keys…?? You KNOW why they’re important to me!! My thumb drive!! Lord….!! Some kid stole my whole pencil box on monday, taking my highlighter along and now i lose my keys?? Why are You letting this happen?? These few things are the little things left to remind me tat wat happened was real…..! Why take them from me? Please, give them back! If You want me to remove them You have but to tell me! Dont just snatch them from me like this! I will dispose of these things i love so much if You ask me to, you have but to SAY it. I will do it!! But dont steal them from me like this!! Lord please…..give them back to me ok…? If You want me to get rid of them after tat i will, but dont take it away just like tat without warning… I completely submit myself to You… You are First, i hv already made tat decision. Please, dont lead me into testing. Just having made this decision was difficult enough. Sometimes I really feel tat this step i took is too insignificant to You; this step tat is costing me more than i can bear. Lord, have mercy on me. I am weak, i am imperfect. But i love You and i want to serve You. I want a close relationship with You. But with all this things happening, I cant focus! Sometimes i really feel You unfair. I feel tat You love him more than You love me. Either tat or You made him with a heart of stone. I think You made me out of jelly, tats why im wobbly and unstable. Either way, its wrong for me to expect him to suffer (he clearly isnt anyway. He cant fool me.) Lord, take away this bitterness i feel for him. I never even knew it was there till yesterday i suddenly felt so deceived, so hurt, so angry towards him. Right now, things seem so overbearing, overwhelming and unending. I need You. Not just now, but every single second of my life. I’m dependent on You… n im at an all time low now. =(

Still, thank You for the blessings You have given me in the last week. My job, oppurtunities to serve You, to make friends even while workking till 1am, getting closer to church ppl. I know this is Your way of loving me and showing that You’re watching over me.

Lord, please….my keys and thumbdrive. I want them back. =(

Aaaaahhh!!! Work woork work and work!! I slept at 1.30 am yesterday cos i had to prepare the booklet for my english class. Aiks. I didn’t even work THIS HARD for spm. I reached home today at 4.30 at collapsed in bed. I didnt wake up until 3 hours later. Then i had to feed my dog and i spent an hour watching TV. And NOW, I have to prepare for tomorrow’s lesson… =l i dont even feel like eating dinner. *sigh*

So this is what working feels like….

I mean, i’m not complaining. My pay is good. Working hours are short. I’m just not used to this i guess. Once i get the hang of this, i’ll be fine. Yes, yes yes….i can do this!

This saturday i’ll be going to some sort of outreach thing in jinjang. Thats me, grace, felix, peggy, cal, john and i cant remember who else. We’ll be performing the Everything Lifehouse Skit. Its really really touching honestly. I still feel it eventhough i’ve watched it like, more than 5 times. LOVE IT!! I really hope that thru our performance we’ll be able to touch the lives of the ppl who watch it, that God will minister to them.

Aiyoooo…..i’m still trying to figure out how to get my students to STOP SPEAKING KOREAN in class!!! Seriously la. Everytime i turn my back, they’ll be at it again, chattering happily. When i remind them to speak in english, they’ll be deathly quiet. HOW??? Ideas?? I only have 3 students btw. They’re all girls aged 10 and 11. How to get them to speak in english le…. how how how??? Help!!

At least my situation isnt so bad….Justin (who’s replacing Jane while she’s in Philipines) is teaching the kindergarden group. Poor him wei…haha….they hardly understand english so most of the time he’s like talking to himself and REALLy…..the kids are SO NAUGHTY. Not exagerating! The kick and punch each other and totally ignores him when he asks them to stop. Once, they even locked him out of the classroom. >.< Hehe… Poor fella.

My students are nicer. Sweeter, more demure. Basicaly like little Korean angels. xp U know what they wrote on the board for me? "Teacher is berry pretty." ^^ Ahaha…..they were so shocked when i told them i was seventeen. They thought i was like, twenty. But dang it la!!! How to get them to speak ENGLISH??????

Hello all….I’ve started my NEW job. I’m working at a Korean Language Centre near Ampang Point. I tell you, I am ABSOLUTELY so grateful for all the blessings I’ve come across. This job is not difficult for me since i’m only teaching english. I work from Monday to Friday only, 10am-4pm. So saturdays n sundays are free for church activities! And if you think the pay is crummy since working hours are short, think again. My pay is RM1200 a month. Nice huh? So blessed, I can’t contain it… So much i’ve gotta...*AHEM*. xp

I think my blog is becoming so horribly boring wei since spm began. Its all ADULT STUFF. Working and things like that. Eee…. To be honest i haven’t actually felt the crazy urge to go out also. In fact the weird thing is I’m pretty contented to be working. And with the drama and cantata practices…i feel really fulfilled lo. Which is like…..the first time in my life ever to feel this way. Its this satisfaction and sense of purpose that calms me. I’m happy. ^^ …and really, maybe things may be boring but i am so so so blessed. All the job oppurtunities and chances to serve him…..its just so incredible.

More than i could hope or dream of

You have poured Your favour on me

One day in the house of God is,

Better than a thousand days in the world…

So blessed! I can’t contain it

So much i’ve gotta give it away.

Your love, has taught me to live now

You are, MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME!!

"….yes, the Australian Property Company. I’m calling to confirm your reservation for 5pm tomorrow…?"

Wheeeeee……!! I went to work today! Haha… My very very first job! Cool huh? ;p

Im working at the JW Mariott. Its actually for 3 days only but the pay is good- RM12 per hour. Jerry intro’d me to it one. He said it was to give out fliers but when i went there today the lady told me to do registration instead and Siew Ping (my classmate who’s working with me as well) had to partner with this guy called Ernest to give out fliers. Hehe……… i kept teasing her abt him after that. xp

I started out totally blur and at loss of what to do. And the two guys i was working with werent exactly very outgoing… They kept talking to each other only and i would be bored to death. Yeeeesh. Finally at about 1pm, one of our bosses told us that we shd go grab lunch while the crowds werent pouring in yet. However only one person should go to ta pao, the other 2 need to man the desk. So Damian n Nicholas (d 2 blokes i work with) started talking lo (leaving me out again -.-"). They were like "what to eat wor the food around here so expensive." "The cheapest is McDonalds…." "McDonalds so far….."

So i cut in lo. I volunteered to go ta pao AND… for the first time that day they smiled at me. =.="""" Yeah yeah….MALE CHIVALRY…. So fast they take out their money to give to me…smiles still intact. what la…. (but not bad also la going to buy. Can stretch my legs a bit. I dont mind at all.)

Lol. So i went to buy food for them lo. It isnt that far actually. About 5 mins walk only wert. FAR kononnya… And on the way back Nicholas was waiting outside for me and managed to chat with him a bit. Damian isnt quite so friendly….he doesnt talk to me unless its BUSINESS. Cheh.

Hmm….so what did i do ah? Basically my job consists of getting the ppl to fill the forms before they enter and i hv to write their descriptions for them. Then i have to do filing, and calling also. Answering calls, giving out goody bags…everything from topping up credit on a handphone to peeling price tags off winebottles. I enjoyed myself, yep yep. Twas pretty fun. I hope I get to do registration again tmr. It sure beats going out and standing in the sun…

But unfortunately i missed drama practice. =( I tot we’d end at 6 but i went home only at 7.30. I mean no complains la but i HAD promised Grace i’d go for practice. Aiyaa..

Tmr Jason is giving briefing for Christmas drama also… aiyo. Now im wondering if i can make it. I hope so…

K la. Haha…this is a pretty boring post. I mean, work isnt all the most interesting thing in the world. Its…ADULT-LIKE. Yuck. XD

Muaxxx. Ta.

Oohhh…my poor achey-wakey feet!! Just came back awhile ago from job interviews. The first was at the hotel my mum works. Scary lar……the working hours are like 12 in the afternoon until 11 at night!! Plus its a chinese restaurant so have to learn how to set the table in a certain way, pour tea in a certain way, pour sauce in a certain way….all this has to be done QUICKLY, EFFICIENTLY and in HEELS. Oh my gosh…. I didnt even dare to ask about salary. Hehe…and my mum told the lady not to hire me. xp In a way, the job intrigues me. Challenge!! But hard le…. And i only get one day off in a week. Why adult life so sad one meh??

Then my friends told me they managed to get a job at one of the restaurants in The Pavilion. Japanese restaurant called Sakai Sushi. XD Okay la okay la… Its actually Sakae Sushi. Aiya, Sakai, Sakae….same thing. Hehe… The lady didnt ask much. Ask me to fill a form and ask when i can start. Hmm…..its 5 bucks an hour there. I also dunno oh now… Need to discuss with my parents.

And my dad is not happy abt me helping to sell souvenirs for RM25. SO LITTLE. My mum thinks so too. Like exploiting us. Lol. What to do…i promised d oh.

Aaahhhh!! Decisions, decisions, decisions!!! Tired…. Whole day walk around town, take monorail, take LRT…. *wail* My feet dying d la…. And in an hour plus Grace is gonna take me to dinner and briefing for the Subang thing. My dad is grumbling d…."Pay so little still want to brief this, brief that…." Makes sense also la what he says. xp Now need to tend to housework and Joy Joy… Boohooohoo…..

Tata.

Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! SPM is over guys!! For me anyway!! You poor blokes out there with accounts or mandarin papers left, TOO BAD!!! Cos i’m already free!! Wakaka….. And for u small kichimeows who kept reminding me over n over abt spm (namely tuck seng, jia wei n william….) Hah, are u guys in for it….*snigger* What comes around goes around after all….

(Aiya, lost my train of thought there)

Oh yes. My plans. Mm…..for now, not much. Thinking of going out with Sarah, Darren and Wei Yee lo. Talking abt darren…tat fella… Lemme ask you, how many guys actually get to take out 2 girls out at the same time? Huh? U tell me, you tell me?? And he calls it a SACRIFICE!!! *choke blood* Can bring leng luis out still talk so much….ish ish ish….xp Guys out there can see how ungrateful he is hor? Hor? HOR?? Hehe….=)

And….lets see. Tomorrow im going to lookout point with jeanette and a few others for a job briefing. Going to sell souvenirs somewhere in Subang wor. One whole day and can only get 25 bucks. Thats kinda little la i guess but food and transport provided plus the dinner at lookout point so just go la. Mei Yee will be going also so i hv somebody to keep me company. Kinda nervous abt the job. I hope i dont have to go up to ppl and talk!! GAK! Noooooo…. I cant do stuff like tat. I shy la. Lol. SMALL GIRL mmg like tat one la. GROW UP!!!

K la. I’m going off to torture the neighbourhood dogs. How, you ask? Hehe…easy. My doggy is a very pretty female u see. *wink* And one of my favourite victims is this mongrel tied up at the guardhouse near my place. I stand opposite the road from him like 5 meters away with Joy while he whines pitifully for her affections. And me? I stand there and go "HAHAHAHA……" =p Its funny. Sometimes i let her go over to him so he can sniff her super magnetic scents (read sexy and alluring in dog language). He knows he cant mount her while i’m around because he’s tried once n i smacked him for it. So just watch him whimper and whine away…xp

i think Joy has caught the hang of the game too. Cos whenevr she sees him she becomes super excited n lopes off to meet him but whenever he tries to smell her or become to affectionate, she leaps out of reach leaving the poor fellow looking sad and pathetic. *beams* Thats my darling. =)

K la guys. I’m off!!

I adjusted my collar and felt my name tag and badge clink gently at my left breast pocket. The grey skirt clung gently to my thighs and a smile etched on my face as i heard those familiar words…."WOMAN!"

Heyo all!! Yestreday I had my moral paper so it ended at 10 .30 and i went to Time Square to meet up with Sarah. Haha…call it sentimental, i decided to wear my old Stella Maris uniform to go out with her. I put on my red name tag and even my ASST. MONITOR badge. Lol. That badge always makes me laugh thinking of the time my friends stole it and colored off the "T" so it read ASS MONITOR. I didnt notice when i put it on….I was the ass for a whole day. XD Good times, good times…

I watched Mr. Magorium’s Magic Emporium at TSquare. Lovely show! For adults who’ve forgotten what it was like to believe in magic and for those who are starting to be suffocated by reality, =) this is the show. I loved it!! It made me cry and smile and laugh…fantastic! My favourite quote from the show is this: Its not the words "He dies." that makes you sad. Its the life that you saw prior to those words. =) Nice nice nice…. Umm, the words arent exactly like that i think. More or less that meaning la. I wanted to watch Stardust actually…but it wasnt on wor. I think its off already. -.-"" SIGH. Fine. I’ll watch Beowulf on Tuesday. Hmph.

OH, btw, my spm isnt actually over. (Yeah i know, i still look as relaxed as ever but come on. SPM isnt an occasion to subject oneself to isolation and self-misery u know…) xp I still have Biology as my last subject on Monday. Cool init? ^_^ Bio is not really a big problem for me so im not so freaky freaky stressed. Yosh! One more subject to blast off!! Wheeeee!!!

Muaxx loves!

I choose my words carefully as i say this. I think…that…its very very possible…that i will pass my add maths. *breaks into a smile* =)

Add maths was today and golly…it was much easier than the trials! I mean, not to say that i’ll get an A or B but i’ll pass!! Thats a huge deal to me seeing as i’ve only passed once in two years. Thank you God!! ^^

Oh! And today something really ugly happened. *grimace* There’s this teacher in my school whom my friends really dislike. I never really felt that way abt her cos she doesnt teach me so i never knew anything abt her except (according to my friends) she has a horrible attitude. My friends totally hate her cos they say she talks to students like she’s talking to animals. I didnt really bother until TODAY.

I made another blunder today by forgetting my calculator. (sheesh…) And for add maths, the calculator is an EXTREMELY essential item. Like me, most students use the 570 model. Many hv a 350 model as an extra, but the 350 has a lot of functions less compared to the 570. So i asked my friends if they had an extra 570. LOTS of them only had a 350 to lend me so i decided to ask this teacher. (Her name is Pn. Chew btw. *hiss*!!)

So Pn. Chew went off to get a box of spare calculators lo. Then she handed me a calculator and got me to fill a form. The calculator she lent me was a 350 so i asked her if she had a 570. Mind you, i asked her really politely. No impatience, no aggravation, NOTHING. Her reaction??

She scolded me.

Scold also nevermind u know. I’m not so ‘xiu hei’. But the way she said it.. She said this: "EH, u never bring calculator still ask for this ask for that! Huh?? I lend u one then just take la! Ask so much! If you dont want then give me back!"

I was shocked and the shock melted quickly into anger. I tried to explain to her that the 570 is different and tat i could easily borrow a 350 from my friends but she cut me off without even listening! She said, "U dont talk or ask so much. I lend you already still like that. What kind of attitude…(pulling another teacher over to tell her of my ‘rotten’ behaviour) Just say thank you and go!! (pointing a finger at me)"

OH MY……….!!

Can you believe her??

I walked into the exam hall with tears of fury brimming in my eyes. My friends were shocked. She’s horrid!!! Nasty!!! Bitchy also… Yeesh! Maybe u wont feel the effect so much reading it here but aaaarrghh!! Can u imagine that? It was early in the morning, 3 minutes before exam, not expecting such an outburst for NO valid reason whatsoever! What is her problem??

Im boiling now.

BYE.